What I've learnt about love

Two tears ago today I went on my first date with the chef from work. He always put extra avocado in my salad and so, naturally, I knew he was the one for Me. It was just a case of making him fall helplessly in love with me. The date mainly consisted of being embarrassing tourists in London, debating about whether or not there were Pelicans in England (FYI there totally are and I totally made myself look like a tit) and me trying to make myself look a lot cooler than I am whilst simultaneously thinking "he's an older man AND he's from Greece... I think I just died". All in all, it was pretty bloody wonderful. 

Fast forward 730 days and we're on a month-long adventure in Greece. Ain't it funny how life works out? One day he's asking me what table 52 ordered, the next he's getting a front row view of my "I just woke up and realised I didn't take my mascara off" face. He's a lucky man. 

On a serious note, I thank the universe constantly for bringing such an endlessly supportive and loving man into my life, who I fall head over heels for on a daily basis. Not only have they been the best of my life, but the past two years have been a huge learning curve. I've learnt a lot about myself, life and love (like, apart from the stuff you hear in Beyoncé songs).

How to make the heat your bitch

The heat and I have a love-hate relationship. We’re kind of like a hormonal teenage couple, who are showing some serious PDA one minute and then screaming at each other the next. Whilst there’s little I love more than laying in the sunshine with a book, you can pretty much guarantee that within an hour I will be burnt with a big ol’ side of heat rash. It ain’t pretty.

My skin has always been insanely sensitive, so I can’t even remember a summer when I didn’t have a substantial amount of stinging and itching to face. But that also means that I’ve got pretty damn good at knowing how to deal with and prevent the plethora of problems that occur during the hot months. Whether you’re heading abroad this August or are catching the sun while it lasts at home, here are some tips for keeping yourself feeling generally BeyoncĂ©-like despite the heat.

7 things you miss on holiday

If you've caught a glimpse of my Instagram recently, you might have noticed that my life has become considerably more interesting over the past couple of weeks. By the looks of things, it's all been black coffee and brunch, long hikes to romantic destinations and sunsets. Add on a filter that makes me look like I have in fact spent time in the sun and it's hard to believe that just a few days ago I was a sweaty mess fighting my way through the crowds in Athens in an attempt to get my hands on some bite cream. Ah, social media, the games you play.

Alas, as any seasoned traveller will know, no trip is perfect. Sometimes, despite all of the times you tell yourself that you should be "having fun" and "soaking up the culture", you just want a good ol' British cup of tea.

Week Two in Greece: City life and figs

Throughout my first week here in Greece I got into a bit of a routine: Wake up. Eat feta. Go to the beach. Eat feta. Have a swim. Eat feta. Shower. Read. Sleep. It was like a gloriously indulgent cycle, that I didn't really want to ever end. I mean, is there much better in this life than sunshine, swimming and consuming absurd amounts of cheese for seven days straight? I honestly doubt it. But still, I didn't want to go back home to England having only seen my feet on a sun lounger in a country that I was convinced by the limited amount I had seen was absolutely bloody beautiful. So, I forced myself to take off my flip flops and replace them with trainers as me and my boyfriend headed off to Athens for a few days to see what city life had to offer us.

How to use essential oils on your period

Just when you thought I couldn’t be any more of a massive hippie, here I am writing a post about the benefits of using essential oils whilst on your period. Someone get me a sarong and teach me how to do a headstand.

Listen, I know it sounds crazy, but Feminax and a hot water bottle aren’t the only things that can help you when Mother Nature pops around for a visit. Over the past couple of months, I’ve been trying out these pure essential oils from Tender Essence and they’ve been working some kind of magic. The company encourages people to learn about the products that they’re putting onto their skin, which, after my rant about pads and tampons, you guys know I’m all about. So, I absolutely jumped at the opportunity to test out their 8 most popular oils. Not only did this little collection encourage me to try out ones I wasn’t even sure how to pronounce, but it made my room smell like a yoga studio. Win-win!

The Perfect Vagina

The vagina has to put up with a lot of bullshit. Bleeding every month for 60 years. Having a baby forced through an illogically small hole. Being ostracized by society for, well, the whole of modern history. I mean, considering everything it does in terms of populating the earth whilst giving out free gifts in the form of orgasms, the vagina gets very little praise or recognition in return.

Personally, I think we need a vagina revolution. The modern world is still extremely hard to navigate as someone with a uterus. On the one hand, we're being told that we're "free" now to do with our vaginas as we wish. After all, we have The Pill and Victoria's Secret and millions of people seemingly worshiping the vagina every minute of the day via the medium of porn. But on the other hand, vaginas are a kind of minefield. We're repeatedly condemned for exerting our sexuality, we're fed images of what our vulvas must look like in order to be respected and something that gives life is still treated like an intrinsically dirty entity.

Week One in Greece: Cheap flip-flops and gigantic watermelons

I've got to be honest with you guys, my Greek adventure did not have the most glamorous of starts. It  mainly involved being awake at the arse crack of dawn, desperately searching for somewhere, anywhere, that could cater to my 3am sundried tomato craving with no success, and bundling onto an Easy Jet flight looking like I'd been freshly dug up from a grave. I would've liked to take some photos at the airport, looking hella chic and kind of glancing back at the camera whilst holding my cute matching luggage set. But I don't have a matching luggage set, my plan to put on makeup failed when I decided to go for 10 minutes extra in bed instead and my suitcase has a bit of a dodgy wheel. So, instead, I sat drinking coffee staring angrily at people that had the audacity to look alive when the sun wasn't even up yet.

13 reasons it's great to no longer be 13

Every single day, I thank the heavens for two things that I’m no longer going through. 1. Driving lessons and 2. Puberty. I mean seriously, whoever said that “school is the best time of your life” was a bloody liar. As far as I can remember, being 13 mainly consisted of being told by teachers that you’re not allowed to go to the toilet until you basically have to blurt out in front of the whole class that sorry, but you weren’t expecting to be bleeding from your vagina until next week. Aka not a great way to spend your day when you’re already growing boobs and having your heart broken by boys that stand outside of McDonalds after school.

I don’t know why everybody glorifies the teenage years so much. I mean, yeah, you get summer holidays and, yeah, you don’t have to pay taxes, but I consider that to be relatively small fry in comparison to the shit show of hormones using your body as a playground between the ages of 12 and 17.

On the plus side, you can take a deep breath and remember that you’re never going to experience puberty again. So, if you’re ever feeling like life is crappy, here are 13 reasons it’s great to no longer be 13. 

8 reasons why Sundays are bloody wonderful

I don't know what everybody has against Sundays. I get that Monday is just around the corner, but what's not to love about lazy mornings and huge cups of coffee? Granted, it might just be because I'm a massive homebody who prefers snuggling in bed to nights that consist of people shouting in your ear and your shoes getting repeatedly stuck to the floor, but I stand by the fact that Sunday is the best day of the week. By far.

I'm pretty sure I'm almost entirely alone in this opinion, so feel free to shout at me in the comments, but hear me out first.

Sunday brunch

A letter to my future husband

Holy crap. I’m married? I don’t mean to sound too surprised because I’m sure you’re really great and everything, but I’ve got to say I didn’t see this coming. It’s not that I don’t want to fall in love and spend my life with someone, but marriage has kind of always freaked me out a little. It’s probably just because I’m a student who is currently living on a £15 a week food budget, so the idea of spending thousands on a single day seems like a special kind of voluntary insanity. I think I’d just rather spend the money travelling the world together. But, hey, I’m 19, don’t we all say that at some point?

Anyway, hi! It’s me – your wife. I hope you’re not working too hard. I hope I remembered to say I love you this morning. I hope that I didn’t turn into a psycho bitch whilst planning our wedding because I couldn’t find those rose gold place holders. Either way, I’m glad that you’ve stuck around.

Bucket List: I'm going to Greece!

For those of you that don't follow me or have been willfully ignoring me going on about it constantly all over social media: today, I'm heading off to Greece. In fact, as long as technology hasn't failed me*, when this post goes live I should already be living it up in the sunshine, taking one too many Instagrams in stereotypical blogger style.

I'm actually going away for a whole glorious month. I know, that's a super greedy length of time, isn't it? But when you have a Greek boyfriend with a family that invites you to come and stay with them for 30 days, you bloody well say "yes"! I've got plenty of my usual posts lined up for whilst I'm on my (not so) little trip. But I'm also hoping to put out a few that are full of sunshine and halloumi, so keep your eyes peeled for many a beach selfie.

I'm excited to have a go at this travel blogging thing! To kick it off I thought I'd share my little holiday bucket list. It's a classic and I'm hoping it'll stop me from spending every day sat by the pool drinking cocktails. Although, if that happens, I can't say I'll be too upset.

4 things I want to get better at

Yesterday, I got some exciting news. Not just "Beth, there's an avocado in the kitchen" kind of exciting news, either. I'm talking, big, "holy crap, does this mean I'm a proper grown-up now?" kind of exciting news. To summaries (because I'm sure you'll be hearing plenty about it in the future, especially if you follow me on twitter) I've been booked for a freelance writing job. Although I have been paid for writing in the past, this is on a much bigger scale. And I still find it pretty insane that I'm getting money to be creative and do what I love.

It's also nice for someone to basically say "I think what you do deserves money". Becuase, as any blogger will tell you, companies are all too quick to ask you to do hard graft for just "exposure" in return.

This month has kind of felt like more of a new year than January ever did. January just kind of came and went, to be honest. Now, I feel like a new chapter has started  (a beautiful one that's illustrated by E. H. Shepard at that). So, whilst I didn't feel the need to make any major resolutions at the start of 2015, I think the time has come to do just that. Actually, "resolutions" is probably a bit of a push. These are more like "things I would like to get better at because they will make me even more of a girl boss."

How to stop stressing and be a girl boss (and a giveaway!)

I’m pretty sure I was born a stresser. You know that kid at school that would cry because they forgot their homework and thought that was the literal end of the world? Yep, that was me. I mean, I like to think that I’ve improved quite substantially since the days of GCSEs (which I saw as a lower budget version of The Hunger Games), although mainly I’ve just got a lot better at ignoring the voice in my head saying “failing to do this one tiny task could be the beginning of your speedy demise” through the use of pretty smells and fairy lights. 

After 19 years of experience with stress, I thought I would share with you what I do when I get that burning feeling in the pit of my stomach before the day has begun and am staring at my to-do list like it’s some kind of venomous snake on my desk. Basically, this is a little guide on “how to be a girl-boss, even when your brain insists on telling you everything is a catastrophe".

11 things you impulse buy before a holiday

When I say "impulse buy" I actually mean "things I've convinced myself I might need in Greece and have steadily accumulated over the past 4 months". To be honest, I've been pretty much ready for my holiday next week since early July. But since then I've obviously convinced myself that I need 18 bikinis from ASOS, a whole new luggage set and travel sickness pills even though I've never been travel sick in my life. And I wish I was joking when I said I had to seriously restrain myself from taking a wander through Primark yesterday out of pure fear that it would destroy my bank account.

I take comfort in believing that I'm not alone in this obsessive, pre-holiday hauling. I think it's a primal thing. Like, "I'm going to be away from home and need to be prepared for every eventuality. Including a sand storm." Or maybe I just have a problem.

My hungover morning routine

I deserve some kind of medal for typing up this post because, frankly, I would rather be laying in my jammies watching Homes Under the Hammer.

But you know what? Sometimes, you just have to sit your liver down and tell it to quit being such a little bitch. Because, yes, you did douse it heavily in vodka and Red Bull whilst getting down to Drake, but you have a life you need to live. You have a job to do, lectures to go to, blog posts to write. And you ain't gonna let a blinding headache and a bubbly tummy stop you from being your usual, boss like self.

So, for those days when Netflix and live-tweeting your sorrows just isn't an option, here's how I push through a busy day after a messy night. And no, I haven't included any time frames like I usually do, because who knows whether I'll wake up at 5am needing to vom or at midday?

15 things to be happy about in August

I figure that it's about time for this little thing I've been doing to become a series, don't you? I mean, considering I've already written two posts full of things to be happy about and am pretty sure I have a million more I could share, it seems only right. So, I'm going to have a little feng shui switch up here on Curly and Wordy. From now on, the post that I use to welcome in the month will be full of things that everyone should smile about. Ya know, like the fact that fairy lights exist and that you don't currently have a UTI. Not only does it keep me from occasionally wallowing in privileged self-pity (come on, we all do it sometimes), but maybe it'll get your month started the right way too.

I hope that August is a good one. May the sun be extra shiny. May you avoid the flight path of seagulls. May your hair resist the humidity.