Some complaints about complaining


Sometimes I feel like university isn’t actually about getting a degree, but more about complaining so much about getting your degree that people respect your hard work. If we’re not moaning about the 2,000 words we have due in by 2pm, we’re bitching about being broke or waving our timetables in everybody’s face whilst screaming “three 9ams in one week!”. In fact, I’m pretty sure that complaining about uni life makes up a solid 75% of our go-to conversation topics. Yes, we did willingly sign up for this experience. Yes, we are paying £9,000 a year to be a part of it. But no, apparently that isn’t going to stop us from trying to convince each other that it is the single most horrific thing in existence.

If you hadn’t figured it out yet from the tone of that sassy little opening paragraph, I’m kind of exhausted by all of the complaining. Not only am I bored of hearing it, but I’m also bored of being an active participant in it, be it around other uni students or just in general life. So, am I complaining about complaining? Well, actually, yes and I am fully aware of the irony. But I hope that this blog post has a bit more direction and purpose than most bitch sessions, because it’s a topic that I’ve been contemplating a lot recently and I think I’ve finally come to some conclusions. The kind of conclusions that are actually changing the way I live my life.  


The thing is, I don’t think that (generally speaking) complaining is a sign that someone is fed up with their life, I actually think that most of the time it’s an attempt to prove themselves. When a student says, “I’ve got four whole essays due in the space of 6 days!” I now hear “My degree is harder than yours, therefor I will be one of the chosen few that secure a graduate job, right?”. When bloggers say “I stayed up working until 3am on my SEO” they usually mean “my job is not just about taking pretty pictures of lattes, shut up!”. And why do I think that? Because I've been one of those people and I’ve realised that the vast majority of my complaints (unless related to the fact that I lost the opportunity to use my avocados at optimum ripeness) are founded in insecurity. As I’ve spoken about before, we as a society value being busy above everything else, so I guess people feel the need to prove that they are in fact constantly working. Complaining becomes a way of making themselves worthy of praise, it becomes a stepping stone in the story of how they “triumphed against adversity”. Everybody wants to have the hardest struggle in order to amplify their success.

Obviously, there are some occasions when complaining isn’t about giving off that ‘constantly on the grind’ persona. Sometimes things are just shit and it’s human nature to talk about that shit and dwell on that shit until it’s impossible to see the light among all of the shit. This was bought to my attention mainly because I’ve been exploring the Law of Attraction (the idea that like attracts like) over the past few months and have started to implement its ideologies in my daily life. Essentially, I recognised that complaining just brings more things to complain about into your world. I truly believe that if you focus on the negative, you attract more negative, be that in a literal way or because you then find it impossible the see anything positive happening around you. Which is why keeping that vibration high is so bloody important. Researching the concept made me realise just how much of my time I was spending complaining, either about things that I couldn’t control so there was no point worrying about or things that I could control so should actually try to change instead of bitching about them. I even noticed that I used complaining as a way of filling those awkward lulls in conversation which is pretty toxic if you ask me.

None of this is to say that your emotions aren’t valid, but, for me at least, I think that it’s more helpful to sit with myself and mull over my complaints instead of or before spewing them out to the world. Most of the time I realise that I’m not actually that bothered by the ‘problem’ itself, but more with the image that it allows me to present or the way that it allows me to temporarily overcome an insecurity. The scary thing is that I think complaining has kind of become a habit. And since 2017 is the year that I try to become more conscious of myself, that’s something that needs to stop.


3 comments:

  1. Oh My God this is amazing! I've just recently started reading The Secret - which if you don't know is basically all about the Law of Attraction - and I've realised the exact same thing! And it's really changed me - more so at the beginning now I think about it and a few complaints do still creep in now and again unknowingly. But it's such a bad and common habit that we've all got into.

    I completely agree with what you said on insecurities being underneath the complaint. But I find that a lot of the time I kind of complain for the social aspect? As if talking about how great my life is around others is bad and therefore I complain about little things like the weather or something my housemate did or work - things that I either don't really care about or brought on myself because good will come out of it! And I agree, it's not a good thing.. Although I still find it odd not complaining or talking about good things in my life when others are complaining to me, I've started doing it more when I'm alone - ie thinking or saying things I'm thankful for rather than things I'm annoyed by and it's definitely made me a lot happier lately!

    Sorry for the epic long comment but I really relate to this as I've recently started researching the Law of Attraction too and I've come the same realisation - we all just complain way too much and the worst thing is we don't even realise what it's doing!

    JosieVictoriaa // Fashion, Travel & Lifestyle

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    1. I'm so happy that I've found someone online who is just starting to explore the law of attraction too! It's absolutely changed my life and I needed someone to share the excitement with.

      I haven't actually read The Secret yet but I'm listening to the audio book "Money and the law of attraction" (which is about waaaay more than just money) and is amazing. The Secret is on my summer reading list though and I can't wait to dive in.

      I TOTALLY get what you mean about the social aspect of complaining! It can definitely feel 'braggy' and just plain weird to focus on the positive when everyone else is sharing their complaints. I guess I'm just focusing on keeping quiet when there's a bitch session going on haha. When conversation slows down my first instinct is to complain to fill the awkward silence so I need to work on that!

      Never say sorry for a long comment, my lovely! It's always a pleasure to read your thoughts xx

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    2. Ooh this sounds great (I've recently got into podcasts so this audio book sounds great to try!) - I'm so glad someone else agrees, and I'm so happy to find someone else into the Law of Attraction (most of my friends still think it's a load of bs). Yes I'm attempting to just stay silent or to mention things we're looking forward to in the awkward silences instead of complaining - but it's a hard habit to shift!

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